It's been a while...

I couldn't believe when I logged onto my blog that it has been over a year since I last posted.  But, in my defense, it has been quite a year.  I have so much that I feel that the Lord has put on my heart to say, but let me first just catch you up on what has happened in our lives.

First, I believe I left off right after Nathan had come home from a deployment.  That was my first deployment with four kids, and I remember that it was difficult.  But, the Lord was probably just preparing me for what what to come in the next year.  Nathan got home in June of 2011, and we had a great summer together.  That school year Brianna was in first grade and Nate went to K4 three days a week.  Brianna did really well in school, as always, but Nate struggled.  I don't know why...he loved his teachers, but I think he is just really shy and he doesn't handle it when things don't go his way.  And, well, last year nothing went our way, it seemed.

Let me back up just slightly to let you know that that summer my Granny passed away.  This was the first person that I was really close to that had passed away.  It was a really hard time, but it was also good because we know that she is in heaven with her Father and that she is no longer suffering.  But, she was just the first of my grandparents to go home.

On my 33rd birthday, I was diagnosed with advanced arthritis in my back and hips.  They told me my back was completely messed up and that I had the back of a fifty something year old woman.  That is a pretty hard thing to swallow, especially being the mom of a six, four, two year old and an infant.  But, we have just been trying to handle it as naturally as possible, knowing that it will progress and pain treatments will be in my future.  We are just trying to prolong that as much as possible.

So, about mid December my back went out completely.  We were in the middle of the Christmas party and events and field trips time, and I could not walk.  I was flat on my back for about two weeks.  Thank the Lord for my church family who chipped in and helped watch the kids and bring kids home from school, etc.  I could not have done it without them.  But, about four days before Christmas, I was feeling good enough to get out and run all my Christmas errands. And, believe me, I had a lot.  So, I had a babysitter come over and she watched the kids all day.  I shopped and got groceries, etc.  We had a Christmas party that night, and I bought a new dress to wear.  I got home and baked a cake for the party.  I was getting ready to get ready for the party when Nathan called.  I just remember that he said, "Beth, hold on to your heart." I sat down on our bed and he proceeded to tell me that he was deploying, and he was leaving that night.  He told me he would be home in an hour and he would have to leave by about 9pm.  So, after bawling my eyes out, I got my act together, and wrapped his Christmas presents.  Luckily, I had wrapped to kids the night before.  When he got home, we told the kids he was leaving, and we were celebrating Christmas that night.  We ordered pizza, got everything together, and started.  Nathan's phone kept ringing, but I didn't pay to much attention.  When we were finished with our Christmas "celebration" it was about 7pm, and he told me they called and he had to leave NOW.  Less than three hours from the initial phone call, and he was gone.  It was the worst day, EVER.  When we were all done crying, I called my Daddy.  I told him what happened, and he didn't miss a beat.  He said, get your stuff together, we're coming to get you and bring you home for Chrismas.  He also told me to call someone from my church to come over to help me.  So, I called Mrs. Pam, and she and Mike came over immediately and stayed with us all evening, until we were ready to go.  What a blessing!  My parents and Brooke left at 3am to come get us.  We left about 6:30 in the morning, and we met in Mississippi.  Brooke drove the kids and I all the way back to OK.  I can't say enough about my family and what they did for the kids and I last Christmas.  Britt and Lauren went to Mom and Dad's and cleaned to whole house and grocery shopped and the even went and got presents for the kids to have under the tree.  It was a hard Christmas, but it was good to be with family.  I tried to take the kids to church on Christmas day, but it was just too much for me.  Everyone was so happy, and to be honest, I wasn't.  I was grateful for so many things, but it was just hard.  I left the church with the kids, and as we left we passed the nursing home my Nanny lived in.  All I wanted to do at that moment was go cry on my Nanny's lap, but I didn't want to drag all the kids in there with me while I was bawling my eyes out. So I didn't.  That is something I will forever regret not doing.

Between Christmas and New Year's we went to Colorado Springs to visit my sister with my parents.  We had a great time and I was feeling much better and Mom was going to go back to GA with me and stay for a while to help out.  We returned from CO on a Friday and we were going to head to GA on Sunday.  But, early Saturday morning I heard my mom's phone ring.  Way too early for it to be anything good.  It was my aunt, and the nursing home had called her because my Nanny was having a really hard time breathing.  She had COPD, and she was having serious complications.  Too make a long story short, they took her to the hospital, and the prognosis was not good.  Basically, there was nothing they could do and it was just a matter of time.  They moved her back to the nursing home where she was given a private room and the 24 hour watch began.  My mom and her siblings stayed with her non-stop.  In the mean time, Dad, Brooke, Bryce and three of my children all got sick with the flu.  I was so thankful I was there to take care of my Mom's house and family for her while she took care of her mom.  And, then she got sick, and I was able to care for her as well.  It was only by the grace of the Lord that I did not get sick.  I literally prayed constantly that He would sustain me and not let me get sick, and He was faithful, as always.  My Nanny passed away that Wednesday morning.  She went peacefully and I am certain that she too is in heaven with her heavenly Father.

I made it back to GA for the next week of school.  The kids had only missed a couple of days, and things went well.  My church was wonderful!  They provided meals for us, helped clean my house and watch the kids.  It is truly great to see the church at work....in your own home.  I was teaching a Bible study on James and the Lord knew that it was just as much for me as anyone else.  A few weeks later I mentioned during Bible Study that my grandfather wasn't doing well.  One of my ladies came up to me afterward and reminded me she was from OK, and if anything happened, let her know and she would help me go back.  I thanked her thinking nothing better happen, but of course, it did.

The next day, my dad called to say my mom was in the hospital with chest pains and they were running tests.  I stayed put in GA waiting to see if I would need to go to OK.  Mom ended up being OK and that everything was stress related.  Then Sunday morning my sister called to tell me my Grandpa had passed away.  He was just ready to go home and see his Father and Granny.  I called my dear friend Lori, and we made plans to go to OK that week.  Monday my mom called to tell me my other grandfather was going to have an emergency pacemaker put in his heart the next day, because if they didn't he might not make it through the week.  So, as I headed out on Tuesday my only remaining grandfather was going into surgery.  He made it through, and I informed him when I got there that he was not allowed to pass away until Nathan got home.  He is still alive...and doing pretty well.  Please pray for him.  He is the only grandparent whom I do not believe is a believer.

During that time, I questioned God.  Why all of this at once?  Why all of this while Nathan was gone?  Why did Nathan even have to go in the first place?  But, I now will end this forever long post with a verse from my study on James.

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

I was encountering trials to be sure, and I pray that I glorified the Lord through them.  I would say that it was the hardest time of my life.  Those two months Nathan was gone I went through so much.  But, I think I needed Nathan to be gone for it, so that my trust and dependence had to be totally on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Tune in soon for what has happened since...it is a roller coaster!!!